Weigh In Wednesday

Why hello there! Fancy seeing you here...oh you came to see if I updated my blog yet? Good news person reading this..I am here to update you! I am down 4 pounds this week..which means I am 1 pound away from another installment of "What does it look like?" ( I know your brimming with excitement aren't you!). Not to mention I will have a new number under my belt (160 pounds lost) and I will 21 pounds away from being under 200 pounds. Major milestones are coming folks!

As many of you saw last week, I am really struggling to stay focused as of late. It's still a daily challenge. In every way it's harder then when I first started. There are so many more distractions and "reasons" not to eat well. The biggest reason being my anxiety and not knowing how to deal with it. My biggest fear is being realized. That without food  I would not be able to handle my feelings. However, in realizing this I have already fought half the battle. I know (rationally) that I am stronger than the anxiety in my head. I just need to learn new ways to deal with it that doesn't involve a gallon of ice cream. That pesky voice in my head (Gollum as I like to call him)  is very sad to hear this. It doesn't want to grow up and be responsible. It wants it's freedom back to reek havoc on my life. Oh little Gollum, don't be silly now. I'm not letting that happen again...remember what happened last time I let you do that?

Ohhhh right...yeah...that smile..a total fake. Now this smile....

100% genuine..and I would like to keep it that way. It's not about  my body, it's about how I treat myself now. I know I need help (no shame in that) to keep Gollum at bay. I am looking into finding someone to talk to. Just another step in the right direction. It's the harder path but it will make things easier in the long run.