Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday!

Short and sweet today folks. I am up 1 pound which all in all I am ok with. I knew that cheating on my plan would result in a possible weight gain. It's kind of insane to me that 2 slices of pizza could result in something like that. However, it's more than likely that my body is just adjusting itself to the influx in carbs and is holding on to some water weight. I've been back to 100% on plan and I am feeling good. I think that in order to keep some of the cravings at bay I am going to start exercising. Perhaps boredom is to blame for my lack in self restraint. Maybe not boredom but lack of challenge.

So on to another week, and more pounds lost and my new positive attitude!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Cheater Cheater Pizza Eater

Well it happened folks..I broke..I had pizza last night. 2 slices to be exact. As my friend Diane said, It was a self fulfilling prophecy. I had been thinking about going off plan for weeks now and it was particularly bad this weekend. The urge was just too great. I was at my boyfriend's friends house for the Jets game and I didn't want to feel like the weird chick with her pre-packed food. Rather than sit here and beat myself up though I am going to focus on the good things instead (a total departure for me).

1. I made cupcakes for this shindig and I didn't have one. I didn't even lick the frosting off my fingers when making them.

2. I got the cheat urge out of my system. It was swirling around in my brain and frankly it was driving me crazy.

3. I thought that the pizza would taste fantastic since its been almost 8 months since I have eaten like that. Truth be told I missed my salad.

4. This does NOT make me a bad person nor weak willed nor a failure. I am a human being with faults and imperfections.

I am taking this as a life lesson. I am back on plan today and plan on staying that way for a long, long time. This is something that a few months ago would have broken me. I would have started today off by going to Dunkin Donuts and getting an iced coffee and a breakfast sandwich. I would have just thrown in the towel. One day, one moment of poor eating would have totally derailed me. Instead, I see it as a growth opportunity. Before I wouldn't have told a soul that I did this. I would have hidden it in fear of judgement or of disappointing my friends & family. I have learned that my friends and family are going to love me no matter what I do. That they are here for me, to support me, even when I fail. So thank you in advance for your support and know that your girl is back on plan!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday! (Plus a day)

Hi there everybody! I am sorry to have missed my weekly weigh in for all you amazing people (I am actually totally fine with it but still). It's hard to feel too bad about it since I had an amazing time down in Atlantic City. Missing a WIW for more time with my boyfriend(it still feels strange to say that lol) is a guilty pleasure that I am more than pleased to have taken. I had an amazing time, lost plenty of money, ate to plan (except for the few coffee's with milk I had to stay up later) and got to buy some smaller sized clothes to boot! With all of that I still managed to lose 1 pound! I will take anything I can get knowing that I wasn't perfectly on plan. I am ok with it all though, 1 pound lost is better than gained!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday!!

Happy Wednesday Everyone! Tis a snowy day here on Long Island as you can see from this picture!
 I am sitting lazily on my couch basking in the glow of my unexpected weight loss milestone. That's right folks...4 pounds down means I am now officially at my half way point!! In 28 weeks I have lost 120 pounds. 120 pounds..insanity I tell you!! I know I say this all the time but I am truly astounded by my success. I have lost an adult woman at this point. I am going to lose 2 whole people by the time I am done and boy am I glad to get rid of them. I was going to do another installment of "What does it look like" but sadly there aren't any interesting pictures out there for 120 pounds ( I am kind of shocked by that). However, I am going to post pictures of myself later today so you have that to look forward to!

Thank you again to everyone for their amazing support! This is by far the hardest thing I have to do and I wouldn't be where I am today without you all!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Musing on a Monday

Shock and Awe people I am actually writing something (other than a WIW of course)!  I figured it was time to update on more than just the weight loss and talk about some of the mental things that have been going on for me. For the first time in 7 months I am feeling the urge to go off plan. Not because I am bored or unhappy with my food. Rather it is more due to how tough it can be to live a "normal" life while on this plan. It is incredibly hard to be on the outside of the rest of the food eating world. It is only recently that it has become harder. The holidays were a challenge for sure (as it is for millions of other people). The cakes and pies in particular were the hardest. In my mind there is little difference between truly celebrating and a piece of cake. Case in point..I went to a wedding on Friday and when they placed that piece of wedding cake in front of me I almost broke. It was staring at me, taunting me, saying "come on Lynne...its a's bad luck to not eat some one's wedding cake". Yes folks my brain made up a total lie (it is really good at that!). I was able to push the cake into the middle of the table and forget about it but it was a true test of my will power.

Then there is the always present problem with eating out. I want to be able to join in, to enjoy the same food as someone else and get that same glazed over happy look on my face as the person I am eating with. It is particularly hard when you are with someone who really loves good food. If I were on a different plan then I feel as though I could take a day off every now and again, to participate in things like that and get right back to my good habits the very next day. However, on Medifast, I would go through some fun withdrawal symptoms the next day that I want to avoid like the plague. Not to mention I am still about 120 pounds away from my goal. I worry that if I step off my plan it will be a slippery slope. All of a sudden a once in a while off plan day will turn into a week, then a month and so on. These facts are able to firm up my resolve for the time being but I hope they can hold.

I don't think I have quite mastered the idea of changing my eating habits forever. I have an excellent foundation but the question is, when I am done with this plan, how am I going to handle it? I know it is some time away but I think it's time I start forming a plan. There will always be a part of me that sees food as a reward (and for someone who is addicted to instant gratification it is the easiest reward to give myself). I had said in a post a few months ago that my life lesson is to learn patience. It is an ongoing process, and while i give myself kudos for having more of it I know that I am far from  where I want to be. How does one shut off their instincts? How does one make their brain stop running a mile a minute looking for the next step? I am guessing it is a gradual process and (here comes the irony folks) I have to be patient and know that change comes slowly (especially to me, the girl who fears change more than she fears birds). I am even frustrated reading that.

So there is the current status of my mental health. Happy in a lot of ways but also recognizing the challenges I have to face.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday!

Happy first Wednesday of the year everyone! I hope everyone had a Happy New Years ( I know I did) and that you didn't make any silly New Years resolutions. I have found over the years that these are often the emptiest of promises we can make to ourselves. I think it makes more sense to have New Year goals rather than calling them resolutions. Perhaps it is the rebel in me but anything close to sounding firm and set in stone immediately makes me want to do the opposite (go ahead Psych majors analyze away!). Before I get into my new goals (I know I actually have some..surprise surprise) let me tell you what my scale said today. Down a whopping 6 pounds this week!! I have gotten so used to the 2's,3's and 4's that I almost fell over this morning! It's a wonderful number to see since it means I am a mere 4 pounds away from my half way point!! Also, I am now down 5 pants sizes and 4 shirt sizes...oh and I have a neck, shoulders and I can feel (and sometimes at the right angle) see my clavicle. Why is that clavicle so important to see? I think because I never recall seeing mine so it's a little like unearthing a treasure! Same with my shoulders! When I look at the top half of my body I am often quite astounded. I don't recognize it at times and wonder did someone come in the night and switch it? However they could never hope to reproduce the amount of freckles I have so it really is impossible (yes..for that reason..not for a myriad of others).

Anywhoo I am rambling away (nothing new there). On to my new goals!

1. To start working out. I want to build some muscle and tone up some of the loose skin I am just beginning to see. I am going to start out with Wii Fit and see how it goes. Let's hope I don't either injure myself or break our new tv!

2. To try out some new recipes. While I love my staples (grilled chicken, taco meat, shrimp with basil and garlic..all over salad) I want to be able to cook for my friends and family again! I have been lucky this holiday season to be able to eat with everyone and I want to be able to continue that!

3. Work on my mind. I want to learn new things and expand my brain. It's time to take it out of the sleep state it's been in for quite some time now.

4. Continue to improve my personal relationships. It's been wonderful to reconnect with people, even those that I already had a deep connection with. I think it's important to recognize that my weight was holding me back in ways that I didn't even realize.

That's enough for now. Onward and downward everyone!