Monday, January 10, 2011

Musing on a Monday

Shock and Awe people I am actually writing something (other than a WIW of course)!  I figured it was time to update on more than just the weight loss and talk about some of the mental things that have been going on for me. For the first time in 7 months I am feeling the urge to go off plan. Not because I am bored or unhappy with my food. Rather it is more due to how tough it can be to live a "normal" life while on this plan. It is incredibly hard to be on the outside of the rest of the food eating world. It is only recently that it has become harder. The holidays were a challenge for sure (as it is for millions of other people). The cakes and pies in particular were the hardest. In my mind there is little difference between truly celebrating and a piece of cake. Case in point..I went to a wedding on Friday and when they placed that piece of wedding cake in front of me I almost broke. It was staring at me, taunting me, saying "come on Lynne...its a's bad luck to not eat some one's wedding cake". Yes folks my brain made up a total lie (it is really good at that!). I was able to push the cake into the middle of the table and forget about it but it was a true test of my will power.

Then there is the always present problem with eating out. I want to be able to join in, to enjoy the same food as someone else and get that same glazed over happy look on my face as the person I am eating with. It is particularly hard when you are with someone who really loves good food. If I were on a different plan then I feel as though I could take a day off every now and again, to participate in things like that and get right back to my good habits the very next day. However, on Medifast, I would go through some fun withdrawal symptoms the next day that I want to avoid like the plague. Not to mention I am still about 120 pounds away from my goal. I worry that if I step off my plan it will be a slippery slope. All of a sudden a once in a while off plan day will turn into a week, then a month and so on. These facts are able to firm up my resolve for the time being but I hope they can hold.

I don't think I have quite mastered the idea of changing my eating habits forever. I have an excellent foundation but the question is, when I am done with this plan, how am I going to handle it? I know it is some time away but I think it's time I start forming a plan. There will always be a part of me that sees food as a reward (and for someone who is addicted to instant gratification it is the easiest reward to give myself). I had said in a post a few months ago that my life lesson is to learn patience. It is an ongoing process, and while i give myself kudos for having more of it I know that I am far from  where I want to be. How does one shut off their instincts? How does one make their brain stop running a mile a minute looking for the next step? I am guessing it is a gradual process and (here comes the irony folks) I have to be patient and know that change comes slowly (especially to me, the girl who fears change more than she fears birds). I am even frustrated reading that.

So there is the current status of my mental health. Happy in a lot of ways but also recognizing the challenges I have to face.


  1. What about doing Dr. Phil's plan? Once you're in "maintenance," you can have weekends to "enjoy your favorite foods in moderation." It might be a boost to get your over this semi-slump. Eh?

    But I know what you mean, it is really tough to lose weight while the rest of the world enjoys food all around you. Lord knows that I'm a food addict. I watch rehab shows and I think, "OMG! I'm just like these druggies only with FOOD!!!!"

  2. You really did have strength to push that cake away. I've lost over 120 lbs and I find myself thinking of cheating more often. But I haven't. I sometimes indulge in thoughts of self-pity that I'm not eating some of the foods of those around me. But then I focus on how good I feel and how much I'm loving a thinner body!

    I know that when I am out of "weight-loss" mode, I will eventually enjoy some of those things IN MODERATION when I fit them into my fueling plan. But I know it's not worth it right now.

    I've been reviewing the TSFL/Medifast transition and maintenance plan and it's doable. It has you gradually add in another serving of vegetables, then the next week a fruit minus 1 medifast meal, then the next week a dairy, and then the next week a whole grain minus a medifast meal. It is gradual and helps you and your body adjust. I don't think it will be as hard to "get it" as we think. We are already learning just by doing the 5 and 1 plan. The key is that we will just start monitoring ourselves a big more with our food as we go and count calories a bit more than we do now.

    So what I'm saying is that this lifestyle change is very doable and we can stick to it. So keep on keepin' on girl. Focus on that GOAL and not on the food. Besides, who wants to waste 3 days to get back into fat buring? That's at least $30 - $35. of Medifast food. What cake is worth $35. a piece?

    Have an awesome week!!