Thursday, September 29, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday (Plus One)

My apologies on posting a day late my friends! I just haven't been much in the mood to write. I am down 1 pound this week. Considering I ate a piece of cake the size of a small child on Sunday, I would say that's pretty good. This next month is going to be very difficult for me to stay focused. With a trip to the Jersey Shore for a seafood festival and a Wedding in Boston the following weekend, I can't say how diligent I am going to be. Which makes me mad at myself already. Or maybe disappointed..yeah that's a better word. In general, I am feeling down on myself as of late. I have goals in mind but find that I have no will power to stick to them. I am easily persuaded to jump off track (since being an adult and responsible is little to no fun!). I wrote last week about needing to stick to my guns more but to be honest, I am not so sure what my guns are.

I know I should focus on the positive. I should focus on what I have accomplished. I just can't. All I see is my debt, my need for a new car with no funds to do so with, my non-existent career path and my inability to stay on this plan. Asking for help makes me feel even worse. The only thing I know how to do is retreat into my "shell" and hide until I feel better. One thing Medifast can't give you is a new way to cope with your feelings. I will just have to keep searching for a way to do that. In the meantime, my apologies if I retreat a's all I know how to do.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday

Today's message is brought to you by the letter H (for hungry) and the number 3..since I lost 3 pounds this week! It's funny the difference 3 pounds can make in your clothes. My pants are loser already (yet not quite another size down but I do look forward to that next jump). My energy levels are up again (which does have it's down side..I find it harder to sit down and watch more than an hour or 2 of TV). I will say that every day is still a struggle of sorts. Eating during the week is always easier but the weekends are tricky. With so many events to attend it can be so hard to stay on plan. I can do it I just have to fight that little voice in my head that gets all pouty around cake. I am not alone in my struggles. Even those not on a diet are always looking to eat better. What is it about cake that makes it a necessity at any and all celebrations? I wonder when that tradition started? Anyway..more pondering on sociological issues later. For now I am happy to be moving downward on the scale. While the gym is still out for now, I am going to look for yoga/yoga tone classes since I enjoyed those the most.

I am working on worrying less and staying positive. That is a life long struggle of mine but I figure if I don't start addressing it, they will always be issues. It's easy to let the little things build up and weigh you down. For me, it's about being scared of new situations, what people think of me and being able to stand up for myself. Little by little, I am trying to simultaneously become more easy going yet staying firm in my boundaries (even writing that I am confused). It's not an easy task I have before me but then again, when do I ever choose the easy path?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday

My apologies for how late in the day this post is! Life has yet again picked up the pace. In weight loss news though things have gone hyper speed...I am down 13 pounds this week. What's that you say? No, I am not a liar!! I am as shocked as anyone that I am back down to under 220 in a week. Clearly...carbs and I are not friends. Not that I am living carb free but it is wayyyyy less than I would choose to take in. I also know that I didn't lose 13 pounds of fat. However...I LOST 13 POUNDS!! Hot diggity that feels good.

I am hoping I can ride this high through the weekend. I am yet again in a position where I have events (multiple ones) every weekend. That is when things get tough. It is so easy to eat well during the week. There is a routine to it all. On the weekend you are in so many different situations you never know what temptations are lurking out there. All I can do is my best though and if I fall down, I will get back up again. I have to. I am on a freaking journey here people!! And journey's deserve to be finished. (ok I know it will never be finished until I am dead and gone but still you get my point).

I have a lot of emotions kind of swirling around in me but sadly I don't have the time right now to discuss them all (or perhaps you are grateful who knows). I will save that for another day. For now, Happy Wednesday and see you all in my next installment (hopefully more pics to come).

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Weigh In Wednesday!

As I stated yesterday, today is a bit of a doomsday. Not only do I have one killer headache (thank you craptacular weather and Medifast) but I also gained another 4 pounds. Bringing my new weight to 232 pounds. Not happy. Not happy at all. However, I am also not sulking about it. I am more mad than anything. Mad at myself. Mad at how quickly 12 pounds seems to jump back on this body. It might explain the back/neck pain I have been having though.

Rather than focus on all the bad things I am going to focus on the good. Here is my list of new goals, insight and motivation for this next round on Medifast.

1. I feel better when I eat Medifast. Despite this headache from hell, I know that in a day or two I will have more energy and feel better over all.

2.I am far less hungry on Medifast then I was eating on my own. To be honest it's hard to find protein that you enjoy as much as a peanut butter crunch bar.

3. As boring as a routine can be it makes things so much easier! Now that I know what life is like off Medifast I am going to do some research into other plans or styles of eating that are similar. Something low carb/low sugar since I think that carbs are really my enemy in large doses.

3. I want to be under 200 pounds by my Birthday. I know that will be the best present I can give myself.

4. I want to be able to wear heels to a wedding in October. (Not sure if that will happen but it's a goal none the less)

5. I am going to cook at home more often (Any and all Medi-friendly recipes are welcome!)

That ougt to do it for today. Until next time kiddos ;)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Again..from the top!

After a weekend full of gluttony I have decided to go back to Medifast full time. I really should say that this weekend was the tipping point. I have been hemming and hawing over this for a while now. It came to a head though during this weekend. I ate everything..every single thing, I could get my hands on. As much of it as I could without vomiting. I knew I was full. I wasn't hungry in the slightest. Yet I couldn't stop myself from reaching for more. Clearly, I still have work to do in the food relationship department. I know that when I step on the scale tomorrow it's gonna be bad. However, taking this step today makes me feel better. I have beat myself up for weeks now and I see the damage it is doing. It's ok to admit that I can't make good choices without Medifast..yet. Yet being the operative word. I will get to that point. I need to get to that point. I'm just not there yet.

Restarting as of today. I have had 3 out of my 5 meals already (that is the hardest part about Medifast..I am done eating by 7 or 8pm). I am taking a hiatus from the gym until my body gets used to the reduced calories. A short one though since I enjoy the classes. I am asking for help from those around me and decline as many requests to eat out as I can.

It's the decision I know I needed to make. I will admit, it felt like a failure. To say that I can't maintain/lose more weight without the help of Medifast. I am over it though. Failure or not my goals are much more important to me. It's not gonna be easy. The beginning of this plan is always tough. I know I can get through it though. One day at a time! See you tomorrow for Doomsday..I mean..Weigh In Wednesday.