Sunday, June 20, 2010

Pacing the floor

For me, the night before anything fun/exciting/nerve-wracking happens, I am unable to sleep. So it is only fitting that I can't sleep tonight. Tomorrow is the day I being my journey away from Obesity and towards...who knows what!! I wonder if this is what brides feel like the night before their wedding day? All I know is that I am pacing my floors, trying to answer the questions floating in my head and praying to anyone who will listen!

Oh I am sorry...We haven't been formally introduced rude of me! My name is Lynne, I am 29 years old and I am morbidly obese (now would be a good time for you to say "Hi Lynne" we are at AA or something). I have been plauged with fat since I can remember, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I really wanted to do anything it.What was my light bulb moment you ask? Simple. I had a choice, either kill myself or really, truly, 100% start living my life. I have lived in the "grey area"my entire life. Grey area meaning I was merely existing, getting by on what I could make out my life with my fat always guiding the way. And one day, in the depths of my crisis, I heard a simple quote (from of all places "The Shawshank Redemption") "Get busy living or get busy dying". It struck a cord in me so deep I could hear it reverberate within my very soul (how's that for a former drama major!!). I know that no matter how bleak things always seemed for me, I would never be able to kill myself. So since that option was taken off the table, the only choice was to start living. And would you believe, it worked!! The minute I made up my mind to live it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And with that mental weight lifted I knew I had to get down to the serious work, the real heavy lifting. Letting my fat go.

After seeing my doctor for the first time in a long time, he told me about the Medifast plan. That too struck the same soul chord (coincidentally the name of my future R&B group) within me and I began to research. It all seemed to fall in to place, and now here we are. I have a months worth of food, my family and friends supporting me 100%, and the mindset of success. So what's got me pacing then? You know what, I can't remember hahaha. Perhaps this writing thing really does help...who knew!

Let's see what tomorrow has in store..shall we...

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