I can't believe it's only been a week since I started Medifast!! Honestly, it feels like I have been on it for months. As good as I feel for doing it I know it will take some real time before I feel like this is my life.Change doesn't happen over night (blah, blah friggtyblahblah).
As I am sure you can tell by my sidebar comment above, my emotions are a little, how you say, out of wack. For the past few days I have been irretable, happy,sad, hyper, positive, negative and a down right pain in the ass (I am sure). I feel like a fucking mental patient (just put me in that pretty white coat and ship me off). This is one of the things I have been dreading the most whenever I thought about losing weight. What will help keep me sane? Food has always been a way for me to regulate the madness. To help keep G and his cronies at bay. But as we all know, all it did was shut them up for a little while ( I know I am incredibly quiet when my mouth is stuffed with goodies!). So it would seem, take the food away and its like recess for an ADHD kid. He doesn't know where to go first. Should he swing on the monkey barsohwait theres something shiny over there i could dig it up with this shovellookat those kids playing kickball I want in (and on and on ad infinitum). All I can do right now is hold on tight and pray to God that I don't get thrown off.
I must say though that this blog is my saving grace right now. It gives me purpose, something to be accountable to and a way to get out what I need to (in my own quirky,incredibly humorous way). I feel like my genuine self gets to have a much needed outlet. Funny enough...it really does help to quite the voices. Man, I feel like I should have listened to my therapists a long time ago when they told me writing would help! But as my mother will tell you, I can never be told/cajoled/bribed/begged to do something I don't want to do (never go willingly I always say, put up a fight!). I am glad that I finally gave this a try, for it seems to be helping ( I feel better already!).
Tomorrow is another day (throw in a fiddle-dee-dee and we've got Scarlett O'Hara!). Who knows what it will bring. I hope it brings a smile, some better weather and a good lean & green (a sexy, shirtless man to fawn over me wouldn't be half bad either!)