We all do this...we all tell ourselves what we SHOULD be doing with our lives instead of stopping to ask what we WANT to do. Here are the shoulds that I think rule my life at the moment.
I should be....
Have a career instead of just a job
Be in a relationship
Clearing out my debt
Have a passion for something
Want to have children
To be honest the only one of those shoulds that I actually want to figure out is the passion. I want to find it again. The truth is that I need to drop all of the pressure I feel to figure out the other things and focus on that. On learning again. On exploring new things to see what I like and what I don't like. How can I be successful if I don't know what I want to be successful at? I know very few things for sure. I know I want to own a home someday and live in it with my husband. I think in order to get those things I need to do the hard work of trying and failing. No one is good at failing but I need to. I need to see what I really want to do. I want to give myself the liberty to fuck some things up because at this point in my life there is little I can do that will truly mess up my future. I am not going to quit my job and spend a year finding myself by backpacking through Europe. The time for such things has passed. What I am going to do is enroll in some classes, any classes that stimulate me. I am not in it to get a degree I just want to see what subjects interest me. This is the easiest thing I can think of to do to try and stimulate my search for passion. Any other ideas?