Happy Wednesday everyone! On this rainy day I am happy to report a 2 pound loss. I am pleased with this as I think I will be seeing numbers like this from now on. Slow and steady wins the race (or so Aesop tells us). I have been working hard on staying focused and not going off plan. I of course had a falter on Saturday (why are potatoes so freaking wonderful??). These things will continue to happen. I don't know if I can ever go back to being as focused as I once was. There isn't that immediacy that I felt when I first started. I also know that I won't be losing the big numbers any more since I am getting closer and closer to my goal. This does NOT mean I am deterred or even dismissive of what I need to do. What I want to work on now is having a healthier relationship with food. Sooner rather than later I am not going to have Medifast to fall back on. I will take the training wheels off and have to interact with food again. Here are the things I am doing on a daily basis to change my relationship with food (I feel if I had a lifetime movie made about this relationship that food would be played by either the dad from 7th Heaven or the dad from My So Called Life..they always play the creepy, sabotagey guys)
1. I am no longer saying "I am going to be good today". This implies that by making poor food choices that I am a bad person. This is not true. Rather I say that the choice is good or bad. Not me.
2. Exercise is something I want to do every day. I really loved the feeling of doing something good for myself. Not to mention the endorphins that people always talk about are being felt!
3. Know that losing weight isn't the goal. It is the side effect. I want to be healthy, more active and have the ability to fully participate in life. By focusing on these things I will create a better relationship with my body.
Every moment of this journey has taught me something about myself. That I am stronger than I thought. That I can change if I want to. That when you do good things for yourself good things come to you. The secret of life is knowing what your challenges will be (Mine will always be patience and positivity) and how to let them be your challenges without bringing you down. Happiness is here to stay for me. I may not be happy every moment of every day.I will get frustrated, angry, hurt and petulant. I will have self doubt and self loathing. Those things will never disappear, BUT they are less then they have ever been. I plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life.