Hey...

*peeks head around the corner* Hi..*comes around the corner* It's been a little while. While today is a Wednesday I don't have any weight news to share. Why? Because I didn't get on the scale today. I decided that it was better to leave what I already know (I've gained weight) unsaid. By stepping on that scale to confirm these thoughts I was worried that a shame spiral of epic proportions would start. Not that I don't feel shameful for not getting on the scale but it is on a much smaller scale. So what's up with me? Not too sure. I know that I am being unreasonable, insanely tough on myself and in general pretty pessimistic about my life.

I am going to take the advice of my amazing friend, Nora and not be so tough on myself. I am always harder on me than anyone else. In an effort to not just totally shut down and go into a dark place, I am taking some pressure off myself. By not weighing in this week I took the pressure of performance and meeting the expectations of others off myself. Are these made up expectations? Perhaps but they are real to me. We all go through times of self doubt and questions of self worth. Mine seems to be now. I know I will emerge on the other side. In the meantime, I am going to keep trying to write and work though what is causing these feelings. Who knows what I might find...