Weigh In Wednesday!

Good Morning my friends...here to report very little. Well in fact nothing. No loss but no gain either. After a very eventful weekend I am alright about that. While I say that I am not going to beat myself up for going off plan I always do. I say it out loud so others will think I am well adjusted but the truth is inside I am going "why do you do this to yourself??". I have no one to blame for my eating off plan but myself.

So what was this eventful weekend you ask? Friday I went up to Conneticut with my boyfriend to spend time with his family and meet his 1 year old neice. I was overwhelmed about the whole thing ( I am often scared out of my mind to meet new people...especially babies) but I think I handled it all well.  His family is wonderful and his niece was adorable. Even more adorable was how he interacted with her. He couldn't get enough of playing with her and you could clearly see how much he loved her. My eating wasn't off the charts awful but I didn't want to eat my Medifast food in front of them. For several reasons but mostly to not feel like the wierd girl eating cheese puffs at the table. My boyfriend is incredibly supportive of me and my plan and was concerned that I wasn't sticking to my guns. He kind of forced my hand on the second morning to eat some of my food. As he said I should be proud of what I have done and what I keep doing. However, being proud and feeling like an outsider don't really gel. Eating is so communal and a bonding experience. When you can't particpate I have found that 1. people become uncomfortable with their own eating or what they eat in front of you 2. I feel like a leper (or some other kind of nasty disease riddled person) and that everyone is staring at me.  It isn't what I wanted my first impression to be with his family. I wanted to be normal again. However, for those who know me, normal is something I will never be!

On Saturday I had the chance to celebrate my best friend and all her glory at an amazing restaurant in the city. It was wonderful to see so many people that I know follow this blog (shout out to Kate & Tara!)! Even better was to see her family, some of which I haven't seen since her wedding a year and a half ago. One of her brothers took a minute to recognize me (that is always fun!). It was great to get dressed up and show off my new figure to people that really care about me. It gave me an ego boost for sure! My best friend is an amazing woman and so incredibly supportive of me. She went out of her way to make sure that the restaurant could make food that was to plan for me. It was a fantastic night out and a great way to get over the self doubt I had been feeling.

I think I need to take some me time in the coming weeks to refocus myself and get out of the funk in my own head. I am getting bogged down by the little things (since I naturally like to focus on the bad instead of the good) and need to do something to kick my own ass. I know I keep saying it here but it takes me time to build up enough steam to turn words in to action.