Weigh In Wednesday

Hello everyone! I am happy to report that this week we see the scale do it's job...Down 4 pounds!! It is a wonderful feeling to see a nice big number like this! I am refocused (for the most part) and moving towards my goal of being 200 pounds by the time I leave for Florida (soooooo excited). I think I can thank the warmer weather for giving me the chance to walk several days this past week. I haven't been as focused on me eating and finding myself wanting to cheat at least once a day. It's hard to say cheat since this is not a diet but I am definitely not as strict as I once was. It's hard to keep that kind of focus for months on end. I have to give myself a pat on the back though. While I have eaten off plan I haven't gone hog wild. My stomach is definitely smaller than it used to be which helps with that. I can't keep beating myself up for these dalliances with the devil (he is so tempting).

I think everyone's moods go in cycles. Right now I am in a time of self doubt and self induced stress. I know it's my own little Gollum having a good romp through my brain. I gave him a little leeway and that bastard takes a mile. As I have said before I tend to keep a lot of this to myself. I think the reason for that is that I know that talking about it won't mobilize me to do anything. Most people find it hard to talk about these things because those that love us want to help us. They want to make it better. They want to let you know how wrong that little Gollum voice is. That stuff is hard to hear because it doesnt jive with my self perception ( I know I am super hard on myself). That is why I talk about it on here. This is my outlet for such things. As you have seen over the past few weeks that this is the topic of the moment. I am sorry if it bores y'all to tears but alas it is the broken record that is on repeat in my head.

Anyway, Today is a day to not go off plan but rather celebrate my loss by sticking to my guns! Gollum be damned!