Weigh In Wednesday!!

Well folks it's that time again! Weigh in day and while I feel like utter crap today I can't help but smile because...I lost another 5 POUNDS. That is a whopping 32 pounds gone from my body. I have surpassed yet another goal which I can't believe. Wasn't it just last week that I met another goal? Before long I will be blowing past the next one and I will have to make some new ones! I originally wanted to lose 50 pounds before my 30th birthday but I think I need to change that. What do you think it should be? I am thinking that at this rate perhaps 80 pounds is reachable. That seems so insane to me (yet wonderful).

I am heading back to bed now safe in the knowledge that I rocked the hell out of this week! I will leave you all with this little home remedy.

Make your own heating pad:

1. Find an old tube sock (make sure it's clean)

2. Fill the toe up with rice (not instant just regular rice)

3. Tie a knot to keep the rice in the sock

4. Place in microwave for 2-3 minutes (I personally only do 1 minute because I don't like it too hot).  If it is too hot place a towel around it to protect your skin.

Enjoy the healing power of heat!

Dealing with Loss

Today we had to put down my sweet dog Scooby. It was sudden and overwhelming but there was nothing we could for him other than make sure he was out of pain. He was a great dog. Funny, a big mush, odd at times but always loving. I have never had to put down a pet before and it hit me harder than I imagined. I think that is in part due (largely I think) to the fact that I no longer have a barrier (i.e. food) to my emotions. I just had to let the sadness come and cry. I hate crying, more than most things, because it always feels unstoppable. Like once you start it's never going to end. However, as we all know, the tears stop and you move on. I wasn't there for when they put him down but I did go and say my good byes. It was scary. I have dealt with death before, more than I would like to think about but I was always at a distance. I wasn't there when any relative passed away, just funerals (which is hard enough). I know that losing Scooby wasn't as hard as losing my Uncle but it was still upsetting none the less. 

I can come away from this knowing that I didn't give into G calling me to eat away the pain. He did win a small battle in that I did have a cigarette. However, I am not going to beat myself up for it. I did it, it's done, and I won't be having any more. I did the best I could and that is all I can ask of myself.

                                                                Rest In Peace Scoobers

Weigh-In Wednesday!!

It is with overwhelming excitement that I bring you my weekly weigh-in. Are you all ready for this? Seriously, I hope you are sitting down (I gather you are otherwise you are reading me on the go and that is not advised!). So for this week I have lost.....9 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!! Let that number sink in folks...9 freaking pounds!  I had to weigh myself 4 times this morning just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating! That brings my 1st month total to...27 POUNDS. What does 27 pounds look like?

How about this....

 Or this...

Or even...

I LOST A FREAKING CANOE PEOPLE!!! That is so hard to wrap my brain around that I can't help but laugh (not a ha-ha laugh, more like a "I wouldn't sit next to you on the subway" kind of laugh) I have officially blown past my first goal and am just a mere 3 pounds away from my second goal (haircut here I come!). I am euphoric today and am so proud of myself. I know there is only more moments like this to come!  
GO ME!

Oh How Time Flies!!!

I am in slight disbelief as I write this but I have reached 1 month on Medifast. It's incredibly surreal. Some day's I feel as though I have been on it for months and others I can't believe how time has flown. One month is an incredible milestone for anyone but especially for me. I have never been able to do anything like this for more than a month (and I bitched & moaned the entire time). Unless you count that time I went to Camp Kingsmont (AKA Fat Camp) but that was more like forced activity then learning how to eat right/feel better about yourself. I do however highly recommend that camp for anyone who has overweight children. It is the one time in my life where I was surrounded by kids my age who were going through the same exact thing I was. I didn't feel so strange or freak-like after, which is what gave me the strength to make my high school career spectacular (not to brag or anything).

Wow, I went off on a slight tangent there. However, I think it proves my point. I have struggled with this issue my entire life.I have been to exercise specialists, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, doctors, therapists & even aroma therapy all before the age of 14. Then for the past 15 years (yikes!) I just kind of gave up on it. I figured you could either love me the way I am or get ta step-in! The trouble with that theory was that I didn't love me. I could never figure out why people liked me or wanted to be around me since I didn't see much there to be worthy of. I knew I was funny and outgoing but that all seemed like one big facade, trying to prove my point that I could be fat and still live a "normal" life. Now though, I see things so differently. I see that I am funny, I am outgoing, I am someone who is deserving of all her amazing friends & the strangers who are dying to meet her. I used to be so scared that when the weight was gone (or going rather) that I would somehow lose my identity. That I wouldn't know who I was anymore. The truth is, I didn't know myself until I started this journey. I am getting to know more & more about myself each and every day. I am grateful for my "ah-ha" moment every day.

This post turned out far differently than I thought it would! I was just going to talk about how awesome I am and how much I have accomplished. Guess I had more to say than I thought! My other reason for this post was to share my measurements with all of you. My oh so amazing Mother took my measurements the day before I started. So far I have lost:

1 inch from my Neck
2 1/2 inches total from my Arms
2 1/2 inches from my Chest
4 1/2 inches from my Waist

Annnnndddd...(drum roll)


7 inches from my Hips!!!

That's a grand total of 17 1/2 inches in 1 month!!!! I couldn't have asked for a better monthaversary than that!

An Interview with G-Man

While looking through my drawer at work I found one of my notepads from a few months ago. I know, I know...your thinking "Lynne, really? Who gives a rat's ass?". WELL if you had given me a chance to finish I could have told you I found something(man! you guys are impatient!). I was in an incredibly boring meeting and I started to write down anything that came into my head. As I meandered through various thoughts, I suddenly stumble across G (for those of you new to my blog click here to see who G is). It looks like I am actually interviewing him, with one handwriting for me and another one for him. If I had a fancy scanner (what is this 1995?) I would just scan this baby in and you could see for yourself. Alas though I am scanner-less(and less of a person for it damn it!) so I will have to transcribe it for you.
Ready? Ok let's go!

Me: There is never a good time to do this

G: I DON'T WANT TO!!! (sounds like someone is being a bit of a baby)

Me: Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? (being equally as petulant back..fight fire with fire I always say)

G: Because it means change. You don't know that all the incredibly hard work will be worth the effort.

Me: What else are you doing? Your just going through each day, not really living.(Truth)

G: What is living? (looks like G is going Emo on us)

Me: Saddest question ever!! Why are you so against these things?

G: It only leads to pain

Me: So you're painless now?

G:  No....but I am comfortable

Me: Comfortable how?

G: In my routine. People let me get away with sooooo much

Me: Why don't you want to be responsible?

G: What's good about it?

Me: Knowing that YOU controlled your life. Not your weight. Not your friends and family. YOU!!!

G: Do I win an award for that? Who gives a shit? What do I get? (ummm...needy much?)

Me: You do. You get the option to do things because you either want to or not....not because you CAN'T.

G: It's going to take years!! 

Me: Of course it is...but by the time your 30 you could either be the true you or stay a child. It will never change until you do something. It's okay to ASK FOR HELP!!!.


To be honest it is really emotional for me to read this. I didn't write it long ago. I see me, I see G, then I see where the lines blur and we are one. I am glad I have this though, as a reference. To see just where I was and where I plan on going. And that, my friends, is as far away from G as possible.

Weigh In Wednesday

I am going to get right to the point (I know how strange for me!) I am down another 3 pounds people! Bringing the grand total to 18 pounds lost in 3 weeks! Before I know it I will reach my second goal (that's nutty!)!! Here is a small list of things I am noticing as the weight comes off.

1.My skin is already getting better

2. Clothes are getting loser (which could potentially lead to embarrassment if I don't get me some belts soon!)

3. My confidence has increased (seriously you all might need to keep me in check when I lose all this weight I might just become some sort of Diva)

4. Most importantly...I am blown away every day by how many people are supporting me. I always knew I had amazing friends & family but every day they do things that make me feel like I am unstoppable. I appreciate it more than any of you can know. Thank you for letting me talk your ears off about the food I am eating and how I am feeling. Someday I will erect a statue in all of your honors. Ok well maybe I won't but in my heart I will (which is a great place I think).

Onward we all go to another day. Today, despite the rain, I am in a pretty great mood. I am also excited to add a new page here called My Progress (oh how sweet it is!). Hope you all have a fantastical (fantastic & magical...doesn't get much better than that) day!

Captain Good Times

On this the worst day of the week I am so glad that I have such a great weekend to look back on. I survived a Wedding and a bar trip all while sticking fairly close to plan! It's pat on the back time everyone (give yourselves one too since I am sure you all deserve it). 

The Wedding was one of the best I have ever attended. It was that perfect storm of great people, great vibe & of course great food! I flirted up a storm with the bartender (which of course I am regretting not giving him my phone number). I ate as close to plan as humanely possible and I passed up cake. Did you hear that...I PASSED UP CAKE!! What? I feel so good about that. It was like a natural high honestly. The only thing I can say that I did that wasn't to plan was having one adult beverage. I caved to peer pressure (why is it that if your not drinking it must be pointed out as a fault?) and had a Captain Morgan and Diet Coke. Let me tell ya, one drink and I had me a nice little buzz (cheap date alert). I danced, I laughed, I talked with strangers. I felt more like my a version of who I used to be in years past. It was a really surreal experience. I want to capture that feeling again and again. This is only after 15pounds lost, can you imagine what I will be like at 50 pounds lighter? Taking this town by storm I assume.

To top all that awesomeness off I also had a great NSV. What's an NSV you ask? Non Scale Victory, something you get that shows your losing weight without actually looking at the scale. Mine came when I was deep cleaning my apartment on Sunday. Not only did cleaning take me half the time it normally does but I also wasn't exhausted. On top of that I was cleaning in PJ pants that just a few weeks ago were a little tight and we have ourselves a home run folks!

I hope everyone had as great a weekend as I did. Now off to face the beast that is Monday.