Weigh In Wednesday

Today's message is brought to you by the letter H (for hungry) and the number 3..since I lost 3 pounds this week! It's funny the difference 3 pounds can make in your clothes. My pants are loser already (yet not quite another size down but I do look forward to that next jump). My energy levels are up again (which does have it's down side..I find it harder to sit down and watch more than an hour or 2 of TV). I will say that every day is still a struggle of sorts. Eating during the week is always easier but the weekends are tricky. With so many events to attend it can be so hard to stay on plan. I can do it I just have to fight that little voice in my head that gets all pouty around cake. I am not alone in my struggles. Even those not on a diet are always looking to eat better. What is it about cake that makes it a necessity at any and all celebrations? I wonder when that tradition started? Anyway..more pondering on sociological issues later. For now I am happy to be moving downward on the scale. While the gym is still out for now, I am going to look for yoga/yoga tone classes since I enjoyed those the most.

I am working on worrying less and staying positive. That is a life long struggle of mine but I figure if I don't start addressing it, they will always be issues. It's easy to let the little things build up and weigh you down. For me, it's about being scared of new situations, what people think of me and being able to stand up for myself. Little by little, I am trying to simultaneously become more easy going yet staying firm in my boundaries (even writing that I am confused). It's not an easy task I have before me but then again, when do I ever choose the easy path?

Weigh In Wednesday

My apologies for how late in the day this post is! Life has yet again picked up the pace. In weight loss news though things have gone hyper speed...I am down 13 pounds this week. What's that you say? No, I am not a liar!! I am as shocked as anyone that I am back down to under 220 in a week. Clearly...carbs and I are not friends. Not that I am living carb free but it is wayyyyy less than I would choose to take in. I also know that I didn't lose 13 pounds of fat. However...I LOST 13 POUNDS!! Hot diggity that feels good.

I am hoping I can ride this high through the weekend. I am yet again in a position where I have events (multiple ones) every weekend. That is when things get tough. It is so easy to eat well during the week. There is a routine to it all. On the weekend you are in so many different situations you never know what temptations are lurking out there. All I can do is my best though and if I fall down, I will get back up again. I have to. I am on a freaking journey here people!! And journey's deserve to be finished. (ok I know it will never be finished until I am dead and gone but still you get my point).

I have a lot of emotions kind of swirling around in me but sadly I don't have the time right now to discuss them all (or perhaps you are grateful who knows). I will save that for another day. For now, Happy Wednesday and see you all in my next installment (hopefully more pics to come).

Weigh In Wednesday!

As I stated yesterday, today is a bit of a doomsday. Not only do I have one killer headache (thank you craptacular weather and Medifast) but I also gained another 4 pounds. Bringing my new weight to 232 pounds. Not happy. Not happy at all. However, I am also not sulking about it. I am more mad than anything. Mad at myself. Mad at how quickly 12 pounds seems to jump back on this body. It might explain the back/neck pain I have been having though.

Rather than focus on all the bad things I am going to focus on the good. Here is my list of new goals, insight and motivation for this next round on Medifast.

1. I feel better when I eat Medifast. Despite this headache from hell, I know that in a day or two I will have more energy and feel better over all.

2.I am far less hungry on Medifast then I was eating on my own. To be honest it's hard to find protein that you enjoy as much as a peanut butter crunch bar.

3. As boring as a routine can be it makes things so much easier! Now that I know what life is like off Medifast I am going to do some research into other plans or styles of eating that are similar. Something low carb/low sugar since I think that carbs are really my enemy in large doses.

3. I want to be under 200 pounds by my Birthday. I know that will be the best present I can give myself.

4. I want to be able to wear heels to a wedding in October. (Not sure if that will happen but it's a goal none the less)

5. I am going to cook at home more often (Any and all Medi-friendly recipes are welcome!)

That ougt to do it for today. Until next time kiddos ;)

Again..from the top!

After a weekend full of gluttony I have decided to go back to Medifast full time. I really should say that this weekend was the tipping point. I have been hemming and hawing over this for a while now. It came to a head though during this weekend. I ate everything..every single thing, I could get my hands on. As much of it as I could without vomiting. I knew I was full. I wasn't hungry in the slightest. Yet I couldn't stop myself from reaching for more. Clearly, I still have work to do in the food relationship department. I know that when I step on the scale tomorrow it's gonna be bad. However, taking this step today makes me feel better. I have beat myself up for weeks now and I see the damage it is doing. It's ok to admit that I can't make good choices without Medifast..yet. Yet being the operative word. I will get to that point. I need to get to that point. I'm just not there yet.

Restarting as of today. I have had 3 out of my 5 meals already (that is the hardest part about Medifast..I am done eating by 7 or 8pm). I am taking a hiatus from the gym until my body gets used to the reduced calories. A short one though since I enjoy the classes. I am asking for help from those around me and decline as many requests to eat out as I can.

It's the decision I know I needed to make. I will admit, it felt like a failure. To say that I can't maintain/lose more weight without the help of Medifast. I am over it though. Failure or not my goals are much more important to me. It's not gonna be easy. The beginning of this plan is always tough. I know I can get through it though. One day at a time! See you tomorrow for Doomsday..I mean..Weigh In Wednesday.

Weigh In Wednesday

Gained 8 pounds. Not much to say about it other than I am mad at myself. I ate my face off this weekend (what else is there to do in a Hurricane?). I continue to eat poorly because well I already messed up this weekend so why not continue it..or so that's what I keep telling myself. I know the right thing to do. I know what I "should" be doing. I just can't seem to muster up the drive, desire, fortitude to do it. Not sure what it will take to get there. For all of those whom know and love me..just do me a favor and don't ask me about it or give any pep talks. I am only going to shoot you down and I really don't want to feel like an asshole on top of feeling like a let down. I know that this is the negativity speaking. I also know that your supportive words and "you can do it's" only make me feel worse. I have to believe in myself before I can let those kind of words in. Right now I am down and I will have to do the heavy lifting of getting myself back up. Thank you all for listening to me vent and understanding me.

Weigh In Wednesday

Another week gone and who knows where it all went! I gained .08 pounds but I am choosing to see that as water weight (the dreaded visitor is in town..it's gonna be a doozy of a visit me thinks). I think my new plan is working. However, I need to start being more accountable.If I am going to eat real food then I need to keep track of it all. Being more accountable seems to be the theme of the week. I have always been one to avoid adult like responsiblities. Budgets and doctors appointments in particular seem to be my down fall.

However, I think it's time to grow up a bit. I want to be active in planning for my future (whatever it may hold). I do know a few things that I want. I want to be able to move in with my boyfriend at some point.. I want to be able to get a newer car (not so much a want but a need at some point). I want to be able to run (not just away from someone/something but in an athletic way). I want to be able to lift heavy things (such as my own body weight). I want to have core strength. I am doing things to move towards those things. Onward and upward as they say!

Weigh In Wednesday

A year ago I wrote this post. I almost don't recognize that it was me writing that post. Now, a year later, I am not only going on mile (2 or more really) walks but taking up to 3 classes at Lucille Roberts a week. However, what sticks out the most to me is the tone in which I wrote it.  I sound so chipper (with a side of sarcasm of course). It's hard to remember that the beginning of this journey (even though I am sooo sick of that word thanks to the Bachelor franchise) every day brought new discoveries. I was on my way out of a depression that was deep, dark and dangerous. I remember having all these wide eyed moments, where I felt like I was experiencing things for the first time. Those moments come slower now. They are, though, no less wonderful. I feel more like myself lately. The right mix of the new me and the old me. I am more responsible, pro active, active and aware of my food choices then ever before. I am more open to re-experiencing things that I once hated. However, I balance all this with a healthy dose of self doubt and negativity. I wouldn't be me without those things. I have to love all the things about me, even the things that get in my way.

Now that I got that out of the way...on to the real purpose of today's post. I am down 2.2 pounds! All this with my modified diet of sorts. I eat Medifast meals through out the day but I am incorporating more real food too. I have allowed myself some indulgences but overall I am making good choices each day. In essence, I have decided to take on the challenge of learning how to eat when hungry. To not turn to food to cure something.

In honor of getting back down to 161 pounds lost I am doing another installment of What Does It Look Like?? It's my gift to all you lovely people..enjoy!

I lost this adorable baby giraffe...did you know they come out weighing 160 pounds?? That's intense

I lost this cake encrusted with diamonds, rubies and sapphires. Because nothing say delicious to me quite like precious stones

Umm..I lost a min horse!!! Does anyone else find that a ridiculous statement because I sure do.

I lost this log...Not sure why you have a contraption that weighs logs in the back of your van but hey we all have fun in different ways I guess.

These disturbing rocks don't weigh 160 pounds but did come up in my search..again..Google continues to amaze me.

 Thanks for all your continued interest in this little blog and of course your support of my efforts!